The Funeral
by aachannoichi
Summary: Solid Snake's funeral. Who shows up, who cries like a baby, and what happens afterwards. Some humor, but it's kinda dry humor. I fixed the problem with finding out who "he" was near the end of the story. So please enjoy.


The Funeral

It was a quite mid-spring morning. Hal Emmerich had just woken up and put on his glasses to look another day in the face clearly. The rains had finally stopped, it seemed like it would never stop raining. He remembered something a friend of his told him once, that if it rains on the day of your funeral it means you're going to heaven.

"I guess you won't be going to heaven after all." He muttered softly.

With a heavy sigh, Hal removed himself from the bed and walked slowly into the bathroom to begin getting dressed for the funeral. The thought of actually going to a funeral for a close friend made his stomach churn violently. Hal abhorred funerals, mostly because he was always the one who had to do all the preparations. That's the worse responsibility anyone has, to make sure his or her loved one has the best final send off possible.

"In life you had nothing but pain, so in death…" He paused for a moment; he choked on his own words. Attending this funeral was not going to be easy for anyone.

Sighing again, Hal took off his glasses and pajamas, and then took a very long shower.

Hours later, Hal and the others had found their way to the cemetery. There weren't really that many people for his final send off, but there were a lot more then he had expected. About seven people showed up, all of them members of Philanthropy. As each person filed into the cemetery, Hal shook their hands and each offered their deepest regrets and sympathies.

"Colonel Campbell!?" Hal said sounding really surprised that he could make it all the way to New York. "I'm so glad you could come."

The Colonel, who by now was slightly weathered from age, slowly trundled up to Hal and gripped his hand tightly.

"I couldn't miss this." He said softly. "Snake was like a son to me."

"I know he was Sir." Hal said gently. "He often would remark to me how much like a father you were to him."

"It's hard to believe that he's actually gone." Campbell said softly as he looked at the long black coffin in front of them.

"It going to be hard living without him Colonel."

The Colonel took a seat near the closed coffin. After the Colonel sat down, a woman in a black dress and thick black veil came in behind him. A man wearing a black suit was half supporting her.

"How are you feeling Meryl?" Hal asked. "I know the viewing was difficult for you."

"Oh Otacon." She said lifting up her veil. "I can't believe it. He actually…"

Once again Meryl began to sob and finally gave herself over to a full-blown wail. Hal and the gentlemen who were supporting her tried desperately to calm her down, but she would not be swayed. She still carried a bit of love for Snake, even though they had a short-lived romance after the Shadow Moses Incident.

"Why Snake?!" She screamed. "Why?!"

"I'll sit her down." The gentleman said half-carrying her to a chair in front of the coffin.

Hal nodded as he watched as all the mourners gather silently. He figured he would wait to see if there might be someone else who may show up. He wasn't a popular man, but maybe someone else may come and pay their final respects to the legendary Solid Snake. After several moments, the priest came up to Hal and whispered, "We're ready to begin, Mr. Emmerich."

With a sigh, Hal conceded that there was on one else coming, but at least it wasn't just him. So he began to walk toward the long silver and black coffin and sat down. The priest cleared his throat and began to speak.

"We are gathered here today to say goodbye to David Harker. Beloved friend, solider, and philanthropist."

Meryl began to sob again. While Hal adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. His nose was beginning to burn a little. He wanted so desperately to cry, but Snake made him promise that if something happened to him, he wouldn't make a scene at his funeral.

"David was a good man, who had survived through many conflicts throughout his short life. Being a child who grew up in many foster homes and orphanages, he overcame this harsh background and joined the Marines at the tender age of 17. David gave his life in service to his country and others and now one of the people who knew him best will say a few words on his behalf."

The priest yielded to Hal who instantly stood up. He slowly walked toward his coffin, touched the slick black surface, adjusted his glasses, and prepared to speak.

"What can I say about David?" He began with his voice cracking slightly. "He was my business associate. My savior. My best friend. He was the only person that I knew in the whole world who actually had the guts to stand up for what he believed in. And that belief filled his entire life and also ended it."

Hal paused; his words seemed to cut straight through the heavy air of the cemetery.

"I know you didn't believe in a heaven or hell David, but I hope wherever you are now, your battles have ended. I'm glad to have known you even if it was only for two years. And I'm happy you have found peace, even if it comes at this price…"

Hal's words broke off and the tears streamed down his face. The priest came up and patted Hal on the back then offered him a few words of condolences. Hal nodded and sat back down in the chair as the priest continued with the final prayer.

Everyone present placed a single red rose onto the sleek black coffin lid and began to trundle off as the coffin made its slow decent into the soft ground below. Before the coffin got to deep into the ground Meryl got up and jumped on the black casket, screaming and wailing for David not to go. Meryl's companion, Hal, and the priest all pulled her off of the coffin, while Meryl's companion took her away screaming.

"I'm sorry about that." Hal said to the priest.

"It's happened before." The priest replied softly.

Campbell walked up and shook Hal's hand one last time before departing. Meanwhile Hal just stood and watched as the coffin was lowered into the ground. The priest came back to Hal, who was just standing there mesmerized and he said, "Will you be alright my Son"

"Uh?" Hal said turning to the priest. "I'll be fine."

"If there's anything else you need Son…"

"No, no thanks." Hal said.

Hal peered down into the darkness of the grave and gulped. This was really the end. His heart sank into that black hole.

"Rest in peace." Hal said softly.

Finally he too began to walk slowly away from the grave site. Hopping into his car, Hal drove off into the distance.

After a few hours of driving around town, Hal had finally made it back home. It was a long and tiresome day. The funeral was much more taxing then he had originally anticipated. Loosing his black tie and sliding the key into the door, Hal stepped into the living room of his home.

Inside, there sat on the long blue couch, Snake, smoking a cigarette silently waiting for him.

"So how was it?" Snake asked with a grin on his face.

"It was nice." Hal answered. "Meryl jumped onto your casket."

Snake groaned and said, "You date someone a couple of times… What else happened? Did any unexpected faces show up?"

"No." Hal replied. "All Philanthropy members and Colonel Campbell."

"No." Snake said laughing to himself. "That old dog didn't show up."

"Yes he did."

"Well that was nice of him." Snake said blowing out the smoke from his cigarette. "So do you think Liquid will rest in peace?"

"No." Hal replied. "Chances are they'll dig him up tonight and take him to the lab for genetic testing."

"Never able to get peace. Even that bastard deserves some peace." Snake said softly. "Hal, promise me, when I do die, no funeral. I just want to be cremated and have my ashes spread in the wind."

"I know Snake." Hal responded softly.

"Well we have a lot of work to do." Snake said. "We'd better get started."

With that both Snake and Otacon began to plot out their next course of action…


End file.
